Freedom to Flounder

I'm still wandering around lost. I find myself listening but not wanting to say much myself. It takes too much energy.

Friday, as I was just about to walk out the door to head to the musician's tribute at RubberSoul for Craig, my dad phoned. My mom had fallen, fractured some spinal bones and is in the hospital. I was able to put that news aside and enjoy a wonderful evening with people who cared about Craig and demonstrated it beautifully through music, smiles and memories. Why do I feel like there is an unspoken finality?

Decisions, direction, Dylan, dvd's, depression

Saturday was the day of DylanFest. I think it was the 7th annual show. I rarely miss it. I couldn't do it this year. It's a collaboration of various local musicians playing Dylan songs. Craig would have played this year.
WDET had a promo spot. During the set, Chris Buhalis dedicated the song he was about to play to Craig. At the end of the set the Marty Robbins song "El Paso" was played. It said something to me. An alternate lyric to Craig's Pillow from the Moon is:



Those strange songs keep reaching my ears. My parents live about 45 miles from El Paso. My parents aren't going to be able to do this themselves. I have decisions to make. Direction isn't coming easily. I found it much easier to just sleep all day avoiding it all.

Another decision/direction I've been playing with is what to do with this blog. I've been playing around with MoveableType here and here. I could continue and just keep this old installation because I can't afford to upgrade.

There are others exploring alternatives. It seems that MoveableType has alienated quite a few of us who seek freedom

I could continue with Blogger, with its nice shiny interface, tempting templates and commenting. Instead, as a diversion and a learning exercise, I've installed three alternatives to play with. All are simple standard installs at the moment, but feel free to check them out, register as users to play yourself, and give feedback.

The three I'm experimenting with, as installed on my server are; pMachine free, the very robust PostNuke (which would be wonderful if I felt there were enough content to manage or multiple users) and WordPress which looks promising.

As long as I can flounder without pressure and have the freedom to withdraw and find my own way, I'm ok. posted by Cyndy | link | | |
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